so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
