i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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