Don't you send me to vm
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
