Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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