What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
