Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
