I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
