so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize