This girl is more easily done than said...
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
