Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
