You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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