Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
