:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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