put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i love accidental penises.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
