i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
