nut hugger
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
