Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
