Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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