everyone is single if you try hard enough
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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