exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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