I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
