hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
