1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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