dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
