PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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