Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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