The best revenge is premature balding
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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