Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
