Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
