STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
as a side note pls kill me
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
