Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
