dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
