I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
