I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
