i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i out mim tonsoeep
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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