i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
