I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
