Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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