So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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