You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
