party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
