Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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