but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
