i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
