Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We don't watch enough power rangers
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
