Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize