i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
