you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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