Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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