When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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