just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
